


Careful fear and dead devotion

by ClayJackson



Series: WIPs, hopefully not RIPs [4]
Category: IT (1990), IT - Stephen King
Genre: And like idk the drama of repression and also the Scandal of thinking/acting on it, Future possible handjobs, Honestly I just wanted to capture the Homosexual Denial, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Not really but it's kinda there, Sex in a Car, Very strange fic we got here folks, WIP, not yet but later, repressed sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 16:30:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21461074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClayJackson/pseuds/ClayJackson
Summary: Eddie needs a moment to get out of his house after reading something that has him shaken and thinking about things he tries not to, so he calls up Joey and makes an excuse to leave for a few hours. Joey decides to see if he can help him.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Joey
Series: WIPs, hopefully not RIPs [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1412833
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Careful fear and dead devotion

**Author's Note:**

> There's a very specific mood I wanted to capture that I can't put words in to but I always love and anyways I'm love Joey The Ambiguously Gay Limo Driver and just the short bit we see of him and Eddie interacting got to me so here's whatever this is. Not explicit yet, and might not be, but that's where I'm currently planning on going with it.

“It’s just a quick meeting,” Eddie sighed, exasperated. 

“You didn’t tell me about any meetings this week,” his mother said, following him as he put his coat on. “Your next meeting isn’t until the 23rd.”

“I know, Ma. I just got the call yesterday.” He was lying through his teeth. He had gotten good at that. 

“Well where are you going? Who are you meeting up with? When will you be home?” Sonia asked fast, her eyebrows curled in concern. 

“It’s Cobb, the one I met with two weeks ago about his nephew’s birthday. We’re just going to Blue Hill to talk over a few more details.”

“I thought you had already worked everything out with him.”

“We thought so, but apparently his sister came up with some new ideas and he wants to clear them up over dinner,” Eddie said as he turned grabbed his bag. “I’ll be home around nine. Don’t worry about me.”

“Oh Eddie,” she said with a frown. “You know I can’t do that, I love you too much to not worry.”

He sighed again and nodded. “I know.” She opened her arms and he hugged her, pressing a kiss to her cheek and hoping that she wouldn’t feel his heart beating as fast as it was. “I promise I’ll be home soon.”

Eddie trotted down the stairs, the afternoon sun coloring the sky with shades of pinks and purples against the usual blue. Joey was waiting there for him with the car he had asked for. Eddie opened the back door and threw his bag in before entering himself. He sighed softly as he leaned back and closed his eyes, begging his heart to calm down. 

“Blue Hill?” Joey asked, his eyes meeting Eddie’s in the mirror. 

“Please and thank you,” he replied, the words feeling sharp in his mouth. 

The car pulled away and Eddie looked out the window to see his mom standing there and waving at him. He smiled and waved back until she disappeared from view. He took a hit from his inhaler and let out a shaky breath as he felt his body relax. 

They drove in silence for several minutes. “Where do you really want to go?” Joey asked. 

Eddie breathed out slowly, running his fingers through his hair. “Anywhere. I just need a few moments to myself.” 

Joey knew exactly what he meant. Every now and then, Eddie had to take a break from that house. Sonia had what might have been good intentions, but certainly didn’t feel like that. With every action and word accounted for, walking on eggshells was a compliment. Secrets weren’t allowed in that house, oh no. But in the limos and cars? Well….

_ And hey hey hey (hey hey hey) you know what I mean. _

_ All the young girls love Alice _

_ Tender young Alice, they say _

_Come over and see me__  
_ _Come over and please-_

“Please turn the radio off.” 

Joey did, settling the two of them into the quiet of the suburbs. It gave away slowly to the noise of the city. The rumble of cars, a honk every now and then, chatter and laughter slipping in every now and then.

Eddie watched it all go by from the back seat, his chest aching. He grabbed his wrist and checked his pulse, counting the beats and feeling the rhythm. After deciding that it wasn’t a heart attack he sighed, closing his eyes. 

It was a long time before Joey spoke. “Do you want to tell me what’s got you so worked up?”

Eddie jumped and blinked, pulling himself back into the moment and away from his thoughts. “Oh, uh,” he stammered out. “I just. I- read something upsetting.”

Joey raised an eyebrow, glancing up at him in the mirror while at a red light. Eddie’s face was flushed and he looked like he would be sick if he thought about it more, so he decided to drop it. If Eddie wanted to talk about it, Joey knew he would. 

Eddie breathed a sigh of relief when Joey remained silent. He hadn’t come up with a proper explanation for why he was so shaken. He also hadn’t come up for a place to  _ go  _ yet, how to kill two or three hours before returning home with another made up story. 

He let out a slow breath and closed his eyes, resting his head back. Joey would drive them around until he could figure something out, or until it was time to go home. 

_ Maybe I could actually go to Blue Hill, get something to eat.  _ No, there probably wouldn’t be any seats open. He could go somewhere else.  _ Is there anything we need at home?  _ He couldn’t think of anything off the top of his head.  _ Maybe just a coffee somewhere.  _ Yeah, that might work. He had to think of where he wanted to go. _ A _ _ nd of any man hearty and clean, not an inch nor a particle of an inch is vil-  _

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut tighter, driving away the lines that had come back to him.  _ Yes, coffee. Where do I want coffee from? What kind do I want?  _ He tried to think of other things to keep himself distracted. He thought in detail about the different places he could go, the different drinks, what made them up, what flavor he liked. At the edges of his thoughts he could still feel those lines trying to push themselves back in. 

He didn’t realize the car was parked until he heard Joey clear his throat and opened his eyes. They were in a car park, the vehicle still on. “Where are we?” Eddie asked. 

“A bar. I can tell something’s bothering you and think a drink might help,” Joey said, looking at him through the mirror. “Or we can go somewhere else if you had another place in mind. 

“Oh,” Eddie said softly, “No, a drink would be fine.” 

Eddie followed him through the car garage, the sun coming in at a low angle and making the place have an orange hue. The bar was quiet; dimmed, but not poorly lit enough that Eddie couldn’t see. There were quite a few people, but not the types of crowds that would be seen on the weekend. 

Joey found a table off on the side for them, away from the other patrons. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title is lyrics from Don't Swallow The Cap by The National


End file.
